


Old Spice & Daddy Issues

by katertots



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Gen, Pre-Relationship, Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-13
Updated: 2013-03-13
Packaged: 2017-12-05 04:02:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/718664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katertots/pseuds/katertots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony's grin is lightning fast and wicked.  "C'mon, Steve.  Tonight we're on Daddy Issue Patrol.  We're gonna wear Old Spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old Spice & Daddy Issues

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inkandash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkandash/gifts).



> Written for this prompt: http://textsfromthe-avengers.tumblr.com/image/43379442729 that inkandash gave me.  
> Thanks to merideath and nessismore for input along the way. ♥

"Rogers!" Tony exclaims when he spots him.  "Just the man I was looking for."  

 

"What can I do for you, Tony?" Steve asks looking up from the file he was reading.

 

The man smiles and Steve can't help but be a little afraid of what that means.  "No, no, Capsicle, it's what I can do for you," he smirks.  "Clint and I are taking you out tonight."

 

Steve freezes at his desk.  The last time he went out with Tony and Clint they'd told the strippers at the club it was his bachelor party (it wasn’t obviously) and the girls had pulled him on stage, cut off his shirt, and beat him with his belt in front of everyone before giving him a lap dance.  He's doesn't want to go out with them tonight.  Or any night ever again.  "No thank you?" he says, cringing when it comes out like a question instead of the vehement denial he’d intended.  

 

Tony's grin is lightning fast and wicked.  "C'mon, Steve.  Tonight we're on Daddy Issue Patrol.  We're gonna wear Old Spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.  You have no idea what you've been missing until you've fucked a girl with daddy issues.  Happy’ll pick you up at 8:00!"  He salutes and turns to leave the room.  “And wear a suit, for Christ’s sake,” he adds before strolling out the door.

 

Steve sighs and shakes his head. 

 

* * *

 

The three of them are sitting at the bar and Clint and Tony are practically giddy in their excitement about the game they’re playing tonight.  Steve wasn’t the least bit surprised when Tony actually sprayed Old Spice on him in the limo, nor is he surprised that they’re all sipping martinis scoping the joint for women.  Well, Tony and Clint are anyway.  They’re running commentary next to him about the dames that walk by and giving them an arbitrary “daddy issues” score based solely on appearance. 

 

Tony and Clint are assholes. 

 

“So, Cap,” Tony begins, clapping him on the back.  “Who looks good to you?  What about that girl over there?  That leggy blonde.  Granted, her tits are a little small, but I’m guessing she works harder in the sack to make up for that.”

 

“Naw, Steve doesn’t like blondes,” Clint chimes in.  “Not since things with you know who went down in flames and she, you know—” he trails off, miming a gun with his fingers aimed at Steve’s chest and pulls the trigger.

 

Steve’s jaw clenches tightly and he bristles at the mention.  Partly because he’d been such a fool to fall for her charms in the first place when it had only ever been a game to her, but mostly, like Clint said, because she’d shot him on purpose.  It was a long time ago, though, and he’s over it.  Well, over it except the part about her fucking shooting him.      

 

“Right,” Tony pulls a face.  “Awkward.  Sorry, Steve.  No blondes, then.  Red head?  You like red, right?  Goes with your stars and stripes.  I know a thing or two about red.  That’s a fine, fine color, Steve.” 

 

“And what exactly does Pepper say about you being here tonight?”  Steve smirks. 

 

Tony waves him off and rolls his eyes.  “I’m not doing the picking up.  I’m just here as benefactor for you two.”

 

Steve and Clint both snort at that.  Tony is an ass most of the time, but he’d rather die than hurt Pepper, and Steve knows that. 

 

“Don’t look now, Rogers,” Clint grins, “but there’s a gorgeous brunette at the end of the bar making serious ‘fuck me’ eyes at you.” 

 

Tony casually glances in that direction and his eyes nearly bug out of his skull when he sees the woman Clint was talking about.  “Holy shit,” he grinds out.  “She really is.  See?” he slaps Steve’s cheek.  “I told you this plan would work.”

 

Steve knocks his hand away glares down at him.  “Don’t fuckin’ hit me again, Stark.”  He turns in his seat to see who Clint and Tony are drooling over and he spots her immediately.  Full red lips, porcelain skin, and long, lush, dark hair that falls around her shoulders.  It takes him a second to recognize her, but he realizes it’s the friendly girl that lives two doors down in his building.  Darcy.  He’s never seen her dolled up like this before and she looks stunning.  She lifts her drink and takes a sip, eyes trained on his, and her lips curve slowly into a suggestive smile when she sets the glass back on the bar. 

 

“Fuck.  If you don’t go over there, Rogers, I will,” Clint says. 

 

“Do it.  Do it.  Do it.  Do it.  Do it.” Tony chants and Steve turns to glower at him.    

 

“Shut the hell up, Tony,” he barks and turns back just in time to see Darcy grab her purse and slide down off the barstool.  He cranes his neck and doesn’t see her anywhere in the crowd, and he is admittedly disappointed about that.  “Great,” he mutters and knocks back the rest of his drink. 

 

“Sorry, buddy.  Plenty of other girls in here, though.  Like that red head over there.  See you fucks later,” Clint laughs and walks away.

 

Tony leans back against the bar seemingly scanning for prospects, but all Steve wants to do is go home.  He thinks for the fourth or fifth time that day how much he hates going out with Tony and Clint.  “Hey, Steve,” Tony sing-songs. 

 

“What?” he grumbles. 

 

“Brunette approaching at four o’clock.” 

 

Steve angles his head, surprised to see Darcy walking towards him.  She’s got this amused and slightly naughty smirk on her lips and his throat goes dry when he gets a full view of her curvy figure in the tight black pencil skirt and long sleeve blue scoop neck shirt she’s wearing.  _Jesus_.  He had no clue all of that was under her scrubs or baggy sweats.

 

She slides onto the empty barstool next to him.  “Hi,” she smiles. 

 

His lips twitch into a crooked smile.  “Hi.” 

 

“Darcy,” she says, holding out her hand, her blue eyes sparkling in the bar lights. 

 

Steve takes her hand and shakes it like he didn’t help her carry groceries to her apartment last week.  “I’m Steve.”

 

Darcy keeps hold of his hand and tilts her head slightly.  “Can I buy you a drink, Steve?”

 

“That’d be great,” he grins.  “Excuse me just a minute.”  Steve turns his head and sees Tony watching with interest.  “Beat it,” he mouths and Tony grins like the Cheshire cat before walking away.

 

“It looked to me like you maybe needed a little rescuing,” Darcy says.

 

Steve chuckles and shifts in his seat so he’s facing her.  “Thanks.  I do.  My… _friends_ , for lack of a better term, are being extra obnoxious this evening.” 

 

“How so?”  He scrunches up his face, which makes her laugh, and he tells her about the game that Tony and Clint are playing.  “That’s ridiculous,” she giggles.    

 

“Tell me about it.”  His eyes rake over her and he can’t get over how pretty she is.  “You look very pretty tonight, by the way.  I didn’t recognize you at first.”  He winces when he hears how that actually sounds. 

 

Darcy purses her lips and arches a perfectly sculpted dark brow at him.  “Meaning I look like garbage usually?”

 

“What?  N-no.  God, that’s not what I—” he trails off, his cheeks flaming red. 

 

“Relax, Steve, I’m just messing with you.  I normally see you after I’ve gotten off a twelve at the hospital and my wardrobe consists mostly of scrubs, sweats, and jeans.  Trust me all of this,” she says, gesturing to her outfit, “is unusual for me, too.” 

 

He grins and shifts a little closer.  “Let me try that again.  Darcy, you look gorgeous tonight.” 

 

A slow grin stretches across her face and lights up her eyes.  “I’ve been upgraded.  Thank you.  It looks like someone spilled handsome all over this suit, too,” she teases, reaching out to tug playfully at the knot of his tie.  He smirks and thanks her.  “Your friends aren’t being very subtle about watching us right now,” Darcy says. 

 

Steve’s not at all surprised by that and fights the urge to turn around and wave them off, but he knows that will only fuel their fire.  He just shrugs and smiles apologetically at Darcy. 

 

“I got stood up tonight and it feels pretty shitty, so why don’t you let me play the hero and we’ll make it look like you’ve won this stupid game with your friends?  We can go somewhere else.  I know a great pizza place around the corner and they have a decent beer selection.”

 

Something warm stretches through him and he can’t think of anything else he’d rather do this evening.  “I think that sounds great, Darcy.” 

 

The smile on her face turns from sweet to wicked on a dime and she runs a hand over his shoulder.  “Your friend with the goatee is starting to freak me out,” she laughs and reaches for Steve’s martini glass.    

 

“I’m sorry about him,” he apologizes.  “Our definitions of fun are very different and he likes giving me a hard time.  But this is fun,” he adds quickly, “sitting here talking to you, I mean.” 

 

“Steve, you are the cutest thing,” Darcy grins and plucks the toothpick with two olives out of his glass.  “If this is going to work, you need to tone down the bashful until we leave.  Think you can do that?”

 

He arches his eyebrow and gives her a crooked grin.  “Yeah, I can do that,” he says lowly.

 

Darcy slides the olives seductively into her mouth and closes her teeth around the toothpick, slowly drawing them off the skewer.  She winks at him and chews up the olives.  Well, _hell_ , he thinks.  That was sexy.  She raises her brows at him as if to say _your turn_.

 

Steve leans forward and tilts his head so he can whisper in her ear.  Her shampoo smells like apples and the perfume on her neck is something floral and spicy; the combination is intoxicating and he could probably drink in that scent for a long time without getting sick of it.  “How do you like my Old Spice, baby?” he teases and it has the desired effect.  Darcy laughs and curls her fingers into the lapel of his jacket. 

 

She’s smiling when she pulls her head back and leans in to him again to whisper in his ear.  Her breath is hot against his skin and sends a shiver up his spine.  “You’re a dork, Steve.  Act as though I’ve just whispered the filthiest suggestion imaginable into your ear, drag me out of here, and then we’ll go get pizza.”

 

Steve shoots his eyebrows up and lets his mouth fall open slightly.  “Let’s go,” he growls, quickly pushing to his feet and grabbing her hand.  Darcy’s lips twist into a wicked smirk as she grabs her purse and hops down off the barstool. 

 

“That was convincing,” she murmurs up at him and he grins.  She tugs his tie and pulls him down until his lips are a breath away from his.  “Don’t forget to look up to no good when you walk past your friends,” she tells him, her lips just barely brushing against his before she releases the hold on his tie.  Darcy turns on her heel and it’s then he notices the seamed stockings on her legs for the first time.  He doesn’t think it’ll be much of an issue to look up to no good when he watches the way her hips sway as she walks.  She even waggles her fingers at Tony and Clint when she walks by.

 

Steve lifts his eyebrows and smirks as he passes them, biting down on the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at their poleaxed faces.  “Good game, Tony,” he says, clapping him on the shoulder and follows Darcy out of the bar.

 

        


End file.
